Angel

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http://www.deviantart.com/art/Bound-angel-170733239

An Angel

Born from the devil
Wielded from greed and angst
Crafted with the remnants of humility

An Angel

Defined by a vacuous thirst
For lust, love, desire and need
Molded by the copious light of all those things

An Angel

Breasted by those who might rescue
A helpless child, caged by evil
Created for the soul purpose of propagation

An Angel

Rescuing her rescuers
Lighting the darkness with her magic
And extinguishing the flame with which she was made

Your Angel

Do you see her?
She is bound within all of us
You need only to believe, to free her

My Angel

She is redemption and sunshine
Alive within the colors that define my grace
And sparkling with newness and completion

Be free Angel. Set me free, please?

Wicked Seed

image
http://www.deviantart.com/art/The-Seed-101838123

You sneak into my mind,
Tiny and unnoticed.
A simple thought.
The fragment of an idea.
Just a seed,
Hoping to grow and come alive.

Seeking out the deepest recess
To plant yourself, without detection,
You choose a dark, wet, hot place
To create your lurid home.

And as you settle into that
Soft, messy, delightful crevice,
You immediately begin to unfold.

Your roots unfurl,
Slithering around my darkest spaces.
Wrapping around those tender dreams,
And all of those needs and desires
I’ve tried to ignore for so long.

Marionetting my control,
Wrapping tightly around my power,
Teasing and testing my humiliation,
Penetrating my lust,
Torturing my thrill for pain…

Oh, but you don’t stop.
You’re still just a seed.
A wicked seed.
But you must to be nurtured.

As your stem rises,
Introducing yourself to my consciousness,
I am drawn to you.
A fantasy, unrealized?
A dream, not recalled?

An inspiration.
Awakening me completely,
Coursing through my imagination,
Until my surrender is eminent.

In masterful form,
You dominate my mind completely.
And when I am finally able
To help you flower,
I’m helpless…
In my own release.

You wicked seed.
I beckon you…
I beg and plead…

Please plant yourself in me…
Again and again!

Baby Doll

Precious and sweet

Oh, little baby doll

He loves her

He holds her on his lap

He combs through her silky hair

He memorizes her seawater gaze

He traces over her luscious lips

His magic girl

If only she could be real

His Baby Doll

He could show her the world

He could teach her so much

He could mold her into ultimate perfection

He could love her, truly love her

Oh, baby doll

Sweet, baby doll

Be real, little baby doll

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Everyday by LadyRavenswood via DeviantArt.com

Know me

Darker than you realized
More wicked than you understood
I tried to show you many times
As often as I could

My fantasies are lurid
My desires, deviant
But my love for you is solid
Please don’t say you can’t

Let me test your limits
Let me explore your mind
Let me show you inside me
Please don’t remain so blind

I want you more than anything
I want you to really see
I want YOU to be my fantasy
But you must get to know the real me

Inside his mind

I have never wanted to climb inside
Another person’s mind
Until you.

I want to slip inside your dreams
So that I might make them
Come true.

I wish I could see every dark thought
Shape and mold myself
To them.

I long to use that magic you create
Inside my heart
On them.

I ache to be the light in your mind
To shine in those deep corners
And see.

I need to snuggle against your fantasies
So that in them,
I can be.

I pray that if I could just see your desire
I could make myself
To be.

I have never wanted to climb inside
But now I do
Let me?

Implosion

Stress
Heaped upon by self created timelines
Give yourself a break

Show me
Tell me what to do
I WILL make it better, easier

Deep thoughts
Not now, not this night
Then when?

Show me
Tell me how to please you
I CAN, and you know it

It’s not changing
You know – It’s not going away
This is who I am

Show me
Tell me how to be your fantasy
If I can’t… I will die trying

Too much
No – Not enough, not nearly enough
Implosion

Show me
Tell me
Or let us implode – needs do not disappear.

I need you
I need your control
I’m wrecked trying to function without it

Show me
Tell me
Or watch me die
In this implosion.

The false mirror

I stare at myself in my full length mirror,
sheer red, black filigree, soft heavy breasts held high, on a platter.
Fine, black stockings coating smooth legs,
dark lace, milky thighs, creamy round bottom peeking from behind.
Silky blonde hair swept up in a bun,
simple mascara, cherry gloss, a few pinches of the cheeks.

I rise on tip toes to lengthen the effect,
how I wish I had a sexy pair of fuck me pumps.
But, how could he resist? He wouldn’t resist.
I’ve given all the signals…
He knows I want to play…

I step out, into the chill of our large bedroom,
waiting to fill his vision,
walking toward him when he doesn’t notice.

Finally, standing before him, screaming at him in my mind,
Notice me, please don’t hurt me, Notice me!

Deer in headlights, as blank as could be.
Why is he surprised but not happy? His response, or lack of one, derails me.
I arrange myself on the pillows as he finishes his bedtime routine,
I wouldn’t have cared if his teeth were unbrushed.
But it gives me a moment, to swallow the hurt,
to refuse rejection, it has no place here.
Not here.

He flips off the light.
Always in the dark.
Always unseen.
Does the mirror lie to me?
Is it a false reflection I see?
Why doesn’t he want me?

Why don’t you want me?
I do, he says.
But the rejection sits there, on my chest.
In this place where it shouldn’t be allowed.

And I get angry with the mirror.
As he climbs on top of me,
Obligated.

God Damn that mirror.

That stupid, mocking, false mirror.

Broken by ElisabethAnna via DeviantArt.com
Broken by ElisabethAnna via DeviantArt.com

Another old draft that I don’t want to delete… The mirror still mocks me sometimes.

Pet me, please

When your kitten saunters over, climbs into your lap and purrs…

Pet me, please.

When she’s quiet and clingy and can’t look you in the eye…

Pet me, please.

When she’s sweet and sexy, and kneels at your feet…

Pet me, please.

When she lies next to you and cries, and you have no idea why…

Pet me, please.

When your precious girl asks you to love her… if you can…

Make room for me.
Hold my hand.
Kiss me like you want to.
Touch me, hold me, play with my hair.

Pet me, please.
Pretty please?

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Hiding

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She stands in the hall, unseen, unheard.
Like a child. Frightened with no reason. Intimidated by no-one but herself. Swallowing back tears and trying, painfully, to somehow stuff down the fear.

He sits, still and silent. He knows she’s there, just out of sight. He wishes he had whatever it is she needs to open up and let him see.

If he goes to her though, she will run. She will smile and pretend. He knows her. He’s seen her do it a thousand times. He understands why she locks herself in a bottle, because he does it as well.

If he pushes, the cork will become wedged, and nothing will budge it until the pressure becomes too much. Only downward force could change that.

He knows that’s exactly what she’d like him to do. To drill out the cork, smash her bottle, force her open. But, he cannot bring himself to break her.

She needs to open on her own. To release the cork from within. To surrender without coercion.

He watches quietly as she rounds the corner. She glances up at him, making her way quickly into the room, but pulling her gaze down as she kneels before him, and lays her cheek on his knee.

He sits for a moment, wishing he had all the answers, wondering if he’ll ever understand his girl. His sweet wife.

Remembering her need for his touch, his hand lifts to stroke her and his fingers slip into her silky tresses.

She sighs, and her body relaxes. He moves his other hand to shift her so he might see her face. As he does, he watches a tear escape and brushes it away with his thumb.

He stares at her and she gazes up at him, into his eyes. She remains mute, but he knows. He sees her.

“Thank you for not hiding,” he whispers as his fingers weave through her hair.

She exhales slowly, and her eyes clear.

Perhaps this is all she needed.

His patience will help her find her voice. They are, after all, the same bottle. Just with different contents.

Undoubtedly, he will find a way to return her true smile. His way. He knows her, knows what’s under the cork. He sees her, even if the glass is cloudy.

He feels her surrender. And eventually, he will find a way to properly use it. To combine the contents of their bottles. To become one.

He’s sure that is what she wants more than anything. To be part of a whole, to be part of him.

If she can stop hiding, so can he. And perhaps he can break both of their bottles, permanently.

Impossible

lost_in_lethe_by_mkaphotography-d72q42t[1]
Lost in Lethe by mkaphotography via DeviantArt.com

“I’m sure he’s the answer.”
“The answer to what?”
“My questions.”
“To the questions you didn’t understand.”
“I still don’t.”
“Then how can you be sure?”
“How can we be sure of anything?”
“That sounds like something he would say.”
…You infected me with this. You made me start all this. Why?”
“Because you want it, need it. Next, you’re going to ask why life isn’t fair.”
“No… but why is life so limited? Why are our mistakes so heavy? Why are our successes so fleeting?”
“You ask the best questions, dear child.”
“I thought he was the answer. To all of them.”
“You want him to be. But the answers are in the questions.”
“Why are you here again? Why do you haunt my dreams?”
“Always more questions. If you would just surrender–”
“I don’t know how. I can’t ‘surrender’. I want to quit.”
“I know you do, sweet child. That is why I’m here.”
“Just let go. Just leave me.”
“Not until you see what I see, what he sees, what everyone sees…”
“Don’t talk about my magic. It’s not real.”
“But it is. You believed for a moment, and look what you created?”
“A mess.”
No, little girl. Life. Joy. Strength. Renewal. Use that magic to free yourself as you have others.”
“I’m too afraid.”
“I thought you learned this lesson. Have hope. Find hope and cling to it. Hope destroys fear.”
“Hope that I’ll figure out how to let go of my dreams?”
“If you surrender, you won’t have to let go of your dreams.”
“He doesn’t want my surrender.”
“Have you asked him?”
“This is impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible.”
“Plenty is impossible.”
“The things you think are impossible, dear one, are the ones most worth fighting for.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“I’ve told you repeatedly. It took a note from a stranger to make you listen… to make you see.”
“What if I’m not capable? What if my will is too strong?”
“It isn’t.”
“What if my desire is too strong?”
“It isn’t.”
“I wish you would tell me exactly what to do.”
I am. I have been, pretty girl. You are confusing yourself.”
“You confused me… I’m still confused… The forms you choose confuse me.”
“You choose the vessel. I am simply a part of you. …You are confused because you continue to argue, to struggle against what you want more than anything.”
“Why do I struggle against myself?”
“If you could answer that question and stop, you would find peace. In surrender.”
“I don’t know…”
“Nothing is impossible, sweet girl. The word itself says I’m Possible. Believe in yourself the way the world believes in you, and you will find all the answers to all the questions.

“They are right inside of you!”