“What are you afraid of?”
“Everything…”
“Be specific.”
“Losing myself. Proving my ineptness.”
“But you’re not inept!”
“I can’t cope. I have no patience.”
“That’s simply not true.”
“When have I ever been patient?”
“You’re a mother. You may lose it, sometimes, but it’s in your nature.”
“Ha! I know some people who would disagree.”
“People who make you feel like you can’t cope?”
“…yes.”
“Perhaps, it’s time to start listening to your heart and not the minds of others.”
“That would mean surrendering to my heart…”
“What are you REALLY afraid of?”
“Devastation.”
“That is his word.”
“And my fear.”
“Use that patience, that hides in your heart, surrender to it and all will eventually become clear.”
“Patience that I don’t recognize in myself?”
“Yes.”
“I’m supposed to rely on something I’m not sure is really there?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Faith.”
“In myself? I’ve never been good at that.”
“That’s why I give you this challenge, dear child.”
“What if I fail? Like I did today?”
“You will try again. There is always a new day.”
“Why did you decide to talk to me tonight?”
“Because you needed it. You were about to quit.”
“Quit what?”
“I cannot explain. But you hold a lot of magic within you. And if you quit, the world would lose that.”
“Magic… I use that word a lot.”
“Because you feel it. It’s presence is strong. Keep loving. You feed it, with your love.”
“What if I’m not strong enough? What if this all too much? What if I’m too much?”
“Dear child, you could never be too much. Don’t question; have faith.”
“What if I need you again?”
“Surrender, dear one.”
“Surrender?”
“Completely.”
MelDouleur.com 
Oh, Mel — I really like this one! XO
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Thank you, dievca. ❤
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I’m with dievca in this
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So this begs the question, did you surrender?
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I am… blind faith is tough. Setting your heart free is scary, Sir.
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I know Missy.
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Missy, you have been writing about this for some time.
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About patience? Yes. About surrendering to my own heart? …hmmm.
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Brilliant!
xoxo
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Thanks, ‘Tis!
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I so connect with this. So often I doubt myself whether I’m right or wrong but always more fear of being wrong. So I surrender.
Beautifully written cara’Mel
hugs, howls and face licks
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Thank you, Marcus. I think stuff like this means different things to all of us. But I’m glad it touched you! ❤
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The wisdom of our hearts is greater than the thoughts of others, yes! And getting there does require that falling into our unknown selves. The greatest things are always hard won.
Thank you for this, to remind me to keep falling.
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This spoke to me in so many ways. Thank you for sharing this with us. Wanting to surrender then plagued by a few demons that seem to lurk in my dark forest mind. Completely surrendering, I have more soul searching to do. I wrote about this and meant every word, but something has me questioning whether I am completely surrendering or holding back a part of me for some of the reasons you listed in your brilliantly written work. Definitely struck a chord within my heartstrings, thanks Mel.
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