fierce and brilliant
scorching every surface
inside and out
or just a day
until it finally dims
to a fine silken dust
with magic daring enough
to stand against
raging winds, torrential rain
the wicked clap of
shaking it into thin
hills and valleys
tributaries of God’s anger
opening in the cracks
filling with the dark rain
of days gone
but when the clouds part
something stirs from within
a thing born without
fear or pain
a fluttering that presses ashes
glowing like ropes of sunshine
coaxing itself loose
to open it’s wings
in fluid breaths
to the wind
with a flurry of hopes
but not without leaving
The midnight hour gleams with the polished hope of a wistful, wishful girl, gazing at stars that would trace the edges of her magic if they could reach her.
But the window is shut and the curtains drawn. The silly dreams of of an immature mind are dismissed by the must-do’s and not-now’s of responsible adults who know better.
A dismissal she will know many times over, even from those who make promises through vows to cherish and through fingertip kisses and even through toe curling bliss.
That loneliness is a requirement, it seems. A right of passage into the realm of grown ups. Where the glitter of the night sky holds only the magic of sleep and where the moon speaks to no one but the wolves.
But you know the secret, don’t you? The sky isn’t where the magic lies.
It’s not in the clouds or the stars or the moon…
It’s right inside each and every one of us.
And the magic in your heart can only be dismissed if you let it.
I refuse your dismissal, cruel world.
I throw back the defeat of your drapes to glimmer, shine and light up all the darkest corners of the universe, right alongside my stars.
There is no goodnight in that magic. There is no dismissing me.
“Can you see?”
“No. I am still lost.”
“Lost where, little girl?”
“In the depth of the ascent.”
“Ah, so you are rising. You found your fin…”
“I don’t know. I wonder if I am simply drowning in my destruction.”
“Don’t you see? You already have!”
“What do you mean?”
“You have drowned… in the depths of your feelings. But you just said it yourself. You are in the ascent. You shed your clumsy legs and formed a lovely tail to assist you in the rise.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“The woman you were is gone, but you are now something new, something perhaps better. You are being born from the destruction that was.”
“Yes, child. Stronger yet softer. Quicker yet more vigilant. Accessible yet careful… Full of care… for yourself.”
“Oh… I do think I love myself.”
“It seems so. Look at me. Who do you see?”
“Yes! The world is your ocean, everyone it can either swim with you, drag you back down, or help guide you up for air.”
“Is this a revelation?”
“Do you still feel lost?”
“Then you still have work to do, little one. Keep swimming, keep searching.”
“I thought he had the answers, but there were only more questions. And they weighed me down.”
“I’ve told you, the answers are within you.”
“Will my faith return?”
“That is up to you. To your heart. And who you choose to anchor it to. ”
“You never mention them.”
“Should I? Is your family truly part of these questions?”
“No. They are the constant. There are no questions there.”
“Exactly, sweet girl. They are waiting, in a boat, on the surface.”
“Oh… They are the goal? They are my end?”
“There is no end. Life is nothing but a plethora of new beginnings. A journey filled with lessons and adventures. You know this… you learn this constantly. You may shed your tail tomorrow and grow wings! You may transform a dozen times before you reach the goal.”
“But they are the goal.”
“Am I the goal?”
“Finally! Yes… It is your journey, after all.”
“My journey… My ascent…”