Tag: marriage

words

Words by with-accusing-eyes via DeviantArt.com

my words
shared so freely and easily
in black and white
but stick like thorns
in my throat
all that comes out is
you mean everything to me

best friend
soul mate
fabled monickers
don’t do justice
to the magic within your love
listen to my heart
not my words

I am not the girl
standing before kneeled
Princes
bargaining for my
attention
I am not built for those
negotiations
because as much as I
need
to be wanted
I further want
to be needed

cruel intentions
blinded my perception
of my actions
this is my
misstep
but the truth will always
prevail
and my truth
is my love

shelter me from the
storm
of my self-loathing
and I vow
I vow
I vow
to be your everything
in return

if you only give me
the time
to find
the
perfect
words

bubble

Frozen In Time by AFantasticIdea via DeviantArt.com

our time
in this tiny space
a ritual born
inside an era where
togetherness is
your necessity
and scrubbing away
my self hatred
is mine

someday
this will be our norm
saturated by your soap
serving you
as I’d always wanted
but was never brave
enough
to say

this will be our habit
and I will no longer
be surprised
by your desire
I will simply
bloom
beneath it

shimmering
iridescence
bathed in steam

there’s just enough
room
for two

for us

❤

 

Flight

The flight by KmyeChan via DeviantArt.com

Soaring above those demons

On wings of fairy lights

Held aloft by your breath

And will

Summoned to the sky

So that I might feed you

With laughter

And smiles

The bright, delicious

Warmth of your kiss

Denies the darkening

Stormclouds

Of yesterday

Burning each teardrop

Away

As the film

Requisitioned

By our vows

Records each new feeling

Alongside

The remembered ones

We could float here

In Neverland

Forever

But I’m not afraid

Of reality

Any

More

Happily ever after?

Rose petals
Happily Ever After by teresa-lynn via Deviant Art.com

Once upon a time

I swallowed life in gulps

Trying to get drunk

On it’s swollen contradictions

Or maybe to poison myself

With the rigmarole

I was always hungry for more

But there was nothing

To satisfy that want

Then there was him

A part of it all

But walled off from me

Behind doors I couldn’t open

Now

He’s opened them all

Flying me to the moon

Filling the gaps

Forcing me to forget

Drunk on something new

Clinging to the edges

Praying it doesn’t crumble

Broken hearts 

Thinking myself sorrowful

At every opportunity

But then

He kisses me

And reminds me

Of this here

This now

With him

Joie de Vivre

Sunrise in Ptuj by snupi2001 via DeviantArt.com
Sunrise in Ptuj by snupi2001 via DeviantArt.com

for a lifetime, comfort has been the best I could achieve

but here, and now, I wonder
is this joy?

the joy of life

is it real or a complicated fiction
frothing about in my brain?

inside my love tent, twinkling along with the lights
nestled against the solidity of your reality
dusted with all of my own words and wishes

the nano-angels battling for my sanity

is this a victory celebration?

right here
right now

I have the world at my fingertips

sunrise in all directions
a ravenous feast
warming my skin and lips
and feeding my
willfully
broken heart

but the sun will set eventually

the demons will assault me
again

forgive me
if I sometimes let them win

then remind me

that the sun always rises
even
in
the end.

In His Hands

Heartfelt Hands by Tracy-Ann via DeviantArt.com
Heartfelt Hands by Tracy-Ann via DeviantArt.com

Safe and soothed,
Tempted and tickled,
Lost and lavished,
Pleasured and pained.

In his hands, I am loved.

In his hands, I am more than loved, I am adored.

In his hands, I am lifted to places too high to understand.

And I am held to depths that I must discover.

Teased but treasured,
Frozen but freed,
Bruised but beautiful,
Whittled but whole.

In his hands, I am allowed to be all the perfect imperfection that makes life worth living.

In his hands, I am taught what this world is truly about.

In his hands, I am lifted… to the heavens above heaven.

And I am held, loosely, but never let go.

I am exactly where I was always meant to be.

In his amazing hands.

He Said…

He said he can’t bear the thought of a world without me.

He said he knew me. Better than I know myself.

He said he saw how much writing has changed me.

He said he knew the relationships I’d forged had helped.

He said he didn’t begrudge me finding ways to get what I needed, when I was needy.

He said he was sorry he doesn’t handle needy well.

He said he couldn’t bear the hurt I’ve dealt with.

He said he always believed I was the strongest person he knew.

He said he wants me to always feel his love.

He said he can help me, he said we’ll set goals, he said he understands me.

He said

“You are my everything. You better remember that always.”

I said, I will.

Forever

His eyes, like the mirrored reflection of a shallow pond, but with a depth that is beguiling…

His lips, so soft and sweet, I could kiss them over and over for hours… days… forever…

His beard, speckled with silver, silky to the touch, but deliciously scratchy on my neck, breast, belly, …the super soft spot behind my knee…

His fingers, oh dear God, his fingers, long and slender, strong and teasing, stroking, squeezing, pinching, kneading, swirling, twirling, invading…

His manhood, the way it curves, the way it fills, the way it looks in his hands, the way it feels in mine, the way we fit, perfectly…

His strength, as a man, as a lover, as a father, brother, son, friend and absolutely, as a husband, never weak or absent, always available, for anything…

His brain, so intelligent, filled with knowledge of depths I’ll never penetrate, makes our son smarter, me richer, the world better, every day…

His wit, childlike, at times, easy and fun, and most appreciated during moments when my heart and mind are heavy, because his are never too heavy to laugh…

His hopes, …wrapped up within me, I take them everywhere, so we could never be apart, not with this beautiful part of him locked inside me…

His love, sweet, gentle, kind, open, honest, innocent, whole, not difficult, not contingent, not replaceable… mine.

His everything…
my everything…
I am his…
he is mine…
forever.

image

Respite

When the hurt is overwhelming, I sink inside my mind.

In that moment, the mixture, the symphony is respite.

The soft of one, hard of the other.
The chivalry of one, demands of the other.
The gentle words of one, the harsh curses of the other.
The sweet hopes of one, the dark fantasies of the other.

It’ll never be, my dark knight in white armor. It’s just a dream.

To accept the limitations,
To enjoy the experimentations,
To tolerate the lack of ministrations,
To be at peace with adaptations.

My neediness resigned. My fantasy remains hidden. My world in reality?

Is the love enough to curse the hurt away?
Is his heart strong, can it keep mine in play?
Can the needs of our family keep my needs at bay?
Can MY heart handle this constant sway?

These chains that keep me, bind me, to a life I should hold dear, are they deformed?

The reality is simple, the fantasy complex,
The reality neglects, the fantasy expects,
The reality agrees, the fantasy objects,
The reality is limited, the fantasy reflects.

In this moment, the mixture, the symphony, is respite.

But then the hurt returns.

And I do it again.

I torture myself.

For neither has an end.