instructions

awake before dawn
searching for the list
her bullet point set of
instructions
the day cannot
begin
without that list
from him

scrolling through
reading each point
with her lips
not simply her mind
the weight of life
it’s thousand and one
responsibilities
suddenly
pared down into
the manageable mass
of a simple
sheet of paper
a recipe
for a perfect day

years of failed attempts
on memo pads
and fancy notebooks
all intended to simplify
but each
laughing, mocking, humiliating
her
between the lines of
failure and defeat

but with his
authority
a gift she had eagerly
bestowed
these lists created by
him
fill each moment with
a chance
to please
an assignment
to ace
an opportunity
to succeed

she smiles at #8
and reads them
again
then again
filled with the pleasure
of accepting
his will
and surrendering
her own
submitting to the
complete
control
and squirming beneath
the ache of it
obedience is as much
a drug
as power is

and she folds the list
deftly
slipping it sweetly
into her bra
and moves around her
morning
with the sweet kiss
and firm smack
of being loved
properly
by the only person
who’s ever truly
understood

then reciting #1

it’s always
number
one

remember that you are
beautiful
and that
you
are
mine

 

 

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third

He guides me
my commander and
collaborator
coaxing the engine within
until it churns with the
mechanical velocity of
rage
fiercely generating a heat
that threatens to consume
not just me
but all of Us
His hands
slow mine
teaching, training
painful pleasure amplified
by anticipation

left to my own devices
my impatience
the reckless ache
of my need
might rip her to
pieces
but bound against my
eager exploration
He controls us both

His whispers in my ear
instructions
which somehow slow my blood
but roar through me
like a freight train
vibrations that pass
through us
both
and reverberate
out
like the hot
stinging
flush
on her body

pressed into her
by Him
filled to an
unimaginable depth
I find My Power
beneath the
forceful demanding presence of
His
and sandwiched
between
D and s
I explore the rich
intoxicating
fullness
of being
wanted by both

of being
the undefinable
third

Free

There is a dam
Within
I long to tear down
The wall
Mask
Persona
Holding back a river
Of tears
That want nothing
But to be free

When they
Overflow outside
Of the lonely
Privacy
Of the shower
Or my kitchen sink
In the wee hours
Before dawn
Or muffled in the
Sleepless
Darkness
Of my pillow

Their escape is met only by
Disappointment
Or
Consternation
Or
Trepidation
Or
Disgust.

I ache for a reason
Good enough
To let them flow
Pain that will strip me
Of the defense
That keeps them hidden
Surrender
Which might allow me
To actually feel
To fully feel

To openly feel

Please
Tie me up
Take my will
Tear me to pieces

Set my tears
Free

So that I may finally
Be me

Under the water

 

Going Under by ValentinaWhite via DeviantArt.com
Going Under by ValentinaWhite via DeviantArt.com

Streams carving patterns
Along curves and creases
I clutch at the edge
The smooth, hard reality
Cool against my cheek
As your fingertips
Press bruises
Into the line of my hip
And your other hand
Wraps itself in the
Long, Red Strands

of me

Lower
Wider
Deeper
Good girl

Let me drown in the
Current of you
Make me lose my grip
On the edge
And reason
Push me past that point
That I’ve never
Been able to cross
Douse the fire
And watch it burn, eternal
Empty me
As you empty yourself

into me

 

The Dress

Taffeta folds and layers
Fall to the floor
Peppered with shining
Beads of glass
And crystal
Altered and tailored
To hug my curves
Cradle my shape
Perfectly
In that perfection
I feel the ease
Of being yours
Soft
Full
Sexy woman
But also
Just a sweet
Little girl
Playing dress up
Making memories
From hearts and flowers
Spinning
Twirling
The dance floor is
My playground
And I am magical
In your eyes
In my sparkling
Gossamer wings
As you pull me close and
The music
Your arms
The atmosphere
And love
Envelopes me
I feel the breath of life
In the whisper
Of your want
Against my mane
Of full, fiery hair
And the abandon
Of surrender
As you
Tell me your plans
For that dress
It’s your playground
After all
Beneath
My feminine armor
Tell me
What you plan to do
To me
Now that you’ve freed me
By clipping
My wings

Safe Harbor

I need a place
Firm floors and soft edges
A structure of steel
Draped in pillows and blankets
Warmed by the sun
Shimmering in the dark
With the promise
The one promise
That no one
Has ever made.

I need a place
A safe harbor

Where I can fall apart
No one else’s needs to meet
No demands
Of time or wit or ability
No decisions to make
No bedtimes, screen-times, mealtimes
No downtime
Never any requirements
Of my mind
Of my eyes
Of my voice
Only my flesh

I need a place
A safe harbor

My blanket fort
Your sofa
A mattress
Or futon
Or backseat
It isn’t the location
It’s the mindset
It’s your attitude
It’s a command
Bend over, feel, break, cry…
Come, baby girl, again

I need a place
A safe harbor

Where I can beg to be
Broken
Ruined
Freed
Until all that is left
Is the calm eye of the hurricane
The center of the
Storm
That is my life
All that is left
Is me

I need a place
A safe harbor

Where pain isn’t frightening
But comforting
Where the tangled
Unruly web
Of this world
Looks like silly string
Dirt is just fairy dust
Piles of laundry are pillows, or even clouds
The disarray is simply magic

I need a place
A safe harbor
Where the sobs
That escape my chest
Aren’t fruitless cries to an empty shower
Never meaningless
But instead
They are music
A sonnet leading to a symphony
Of laughter and bliss
A concert
For one

I need a place
I need to fall apart
I need to be taken apart
I need that impossible promise

Daddy

I need
Your
Safe harbor.

Squirm

Perched in your lap
Hands on your cheeks
Sipping away at your
Sugar, sweet kisses
Until my jaw aches
And my lips burn

Squirm

A growl in your throat
Fingers tighten in aggravation
Across my creamy, soft thighs
Pressing the urgency within
Straight through my flesh
To my hungry core

Squirm

Long, puffed exhales
With soft, liquid smiles
My hands find a path
Beneath your shirt
And dance through
That soft, dark fur beneath

Squirm

Baring your teeth and
Narrowing your eyes
Wake up, Beast!
Come out and play with me
A giggle bubbles from
Somewhere next to my heart

Squirm

Determination sets your brow
Your hands cover mine
Pulling them, and me
Around you, against you
Crushing me with the
Strength of a Daddy Bear

Squirm

Our bodies are not bodies
But fire, light and electricity
Control is lost to these
Primal needs and desires
Unfolding and invading
Like hungry vines in the wild

Squirm

No more breath, no more sound
Just you, thrusting inside
With furiousity, unmeasured
Deeper, more, harder, faster
Until you still me in one glance
With that carnal look of intimacy

Squirm

Take me, tease me, torment me
Chase me, Hunt me, Catch me
Over and over, until you cannot
And I surrender, wicked Beast
Because you make me

Squirm