for a lifetime, comfort has been the best I could achieve

but here, and now, I wonder
is this joy?

the joy of life

is it real or a complicated fiction
frothing about in my brain?

inside my love tent, twinkling along with the lights
nestled against the solidity of your reality
dusted with all of my own words and wishes

the nano-angels battling for my sanity

is this a victory celebration?

right here
right now

I have the world at my fingertips

sunrise in all directions
a ravenous feast
warming my skin and lips
and feeding my
willfully
broken heart

but the sun will set eventually

the demons will assault me
again

forgive me
if I sometimes let them win

then remind me

that the sun always rises
even
in
the end.