Ordinary Darkness

Everything by psycheanamnesis via DeviantArt.com
There’s a Crack in Everything by psycheanamnesis via DeviantArt.com

the light catches
where the truth hides
fractures in the cold
oppressive world
that let magic seep out
in tiny droplets
missed by so many
but those in the shadows see
for you can find so much
in the dark
without the distraction of
melody and mock joy that
cascades around those
who pitch their eyes to
stare at the sun
find the broken bulbs
glints of pleasure from seeing
where it has been forgotten
isn’t a rainbow that much more beautiful
because of the storm
it is forced from?
the stars that much more
for the vast darkness they
somehow penetrate?
I think I’m there
in the sparks and colors
I may disguise myself
in these layers
of ordinary and plain
but, no
know me
I am brilliance inside this
dreary grey facade
and if you crack the clay
even for an instant
peer through the
you might see the secrets
the magic inside
see what others
don’t even look for
it may mean nothing
in that moment
but when you find
it is yours to hold
to make your own magic


Woman within rings like Saturn
Thoughts about Saturn by sophiaazhou via DeviantArt.com

Pacing the halls of my mind

Searching for the door

That might give voice

To this discomfort

But each room is locked

Or filled with

Too much


There is no sense to make

When you are

Orbiting the sun

Saturn, encompassed

By its own glorious


Trapped in the center

Unable to be

Anything else

But everyday


That without them

I may just

Float away

And so I do the dance

Round and round

Closing the doors within

Shouting at


That the rooms will


Be empty

We all spin

But in sync

And our paths are

As simple as



Light Warrior by musicity via DeviantArt.com
Light Warrior by musicity via DeviantArt.com

pressed against
your sleepy warmth
wiped clean
by the giggling
gasping, gripping
of your complete
painted anew
by your touch
my flaws disappear
your kisses
leave feathery
beneath my skin
I will feel them
until the day
tries to wash
this glow
but some of it
burned deeper
than life can reach
where you kissed
my soul
stoking a flame
I’d all but forgotten
brighter than
ever before
hotter than I
knew it could burn
don’t let it
this symphony of
light inside my
very spirit
let it incinerate me
from inside
then watch me rise
like a Phoenix
brand new
yet somehow
the same
this is what your
can do


Blue Sunset 17: Sunray WP by richardxthripp via DeviantArt.com
Blue Sunset 17: Sunray WP by richardxthripp via DeviantArt.com

Holding onto the wrungs
this never-ending
breaks my spirit
be better, do more, get
but who can resist
looking back
down to easier slats
or even below
to solid ground
wear I could run
to climb a new ladder
or a mountain
or lie down on the warm
solid earth
the view sometimes makes me
but when I just
look up
into the heavens I
climb without thought
dizzy with the pressure
and heavy with the weight
of what I carry
if I faulter
it is not just me
who will fall
I still long to see
what awaits
at the top
there is balance
in the clouds
but maybe
there is just me
staring down at
the life
I forgot to
in my haste
to simply
be done



the song is strung from the rafters
harmonies hung in
curtains that brush my skin
as I dance beneath
their weight
it is the dash of moonlight
that stings my eyes
he knows, that wise
beautiful moon
he sees all and hears everything
even my damning thoughts
but if I cling
tether myself beneath this
canopy of life’s simple
bask inside the swell
of a symphony of
perhaps this game
of hide
and seek
can continue
maybe I can evade
his violent gaze
and dance
to my melody
turn it up
louder than my fear
and watch me



Beyond the dark

The edge of the forgotten

I continue on… over… past…

Crossing the withering stream

Of my ambition

I find the other side looks

No different

My precious words

Sunk like pebbles in the

Black abyss below

Shall I dive in?

Collect them and save them

From what?

There will be more, they say

You will find them again, they say

Your time will come

They say

But the dark water below

Holds onto all my secrets

All my plans and dreams and hopes

All my lies and defeat and guilt

All my inspiration

All my intangible love

Maybe I’m too scared

To do anything

But cross

Maybe this bridge is only that

Part of my path

And stepping off is simply

Walking into the future

But oh, how the sun rises

At my back

The side I came from

Lit by the magic and beauty

Of everything I used to be

Don’t look back

Just cross


That everything

Has it’s time

And the sun that rises



Let Go

He stands behind her, reaching out to drag long, daring fingers through her silky tresses. Down the velvet arch of her back then up again, into her locks, tugging her sharply against him.

“Five,” he growls against her ear, before pressing her forward, bent over the mattress, molding her to his will.

His belt is folded and she hears the wicked snap of him pulling it tight in his grasp. His fingers glide over the soft, round curve of her bottom before he steps back to his task.

The first strike lands and the heat is immediate and intense. A sensation she’d dreamed of, a pain she’d longed for, and despite the whimper which escapes her throat, she instantly wants more.

The second blow is lower and even harder than the first, but the groan which bubbles from her chest is filled with the depth of her desire, not to quit, but to endure all that he might offer.

The discomfort of the third causes her to cry out, softly. He wonders at her desire for this pain, and what it does to her. A question that would have to be answered, eventually. She would have to make him understand.

The fourth stings and sends jolts through her core. How could she ever explain? The little girl in her has no words to describe her need for this. And the masochist within is mute from a lifetime of hiding.

The final hit is fast, biting her skin with enough intensity to leave a mark, and she exhales in pants, wishing for more but knowing that it would be too much.

His hands smooth over her hot flesh before guiding her to stand and back into him. He strokes her hair and nuzzles her neck as she catches her breath.

When he turns her in his arms and kisses her deeply, she feels his arousal against her belly and loses herself in him.

As his kiss turns wild and animalistic, it is all she can do to remain upright, her knees threaten to fail, her mind threatens to part.

His fingers search and explore her body expertly. He knows each and every tiny place that is secretly and amazingly linked to her core. And tortures her in the most delicious, teasing game, before they find their home deep within her.

“Please…,” she whimpers as he pulls his lips from hers.

He slips his fingers from her and traces her lips with her own liquid lust. “You got what you wanted, what are you begging for?”

She looks deep in his pale eyes and is frozen within his gaze. She did get what she wanted…

She’d begged and pleaded for that which she believed she needed. She’d forced her thoughts on him, she’d pushed him to conform to her needs.

Sinking to her knees before him, she gazes up at him. “Please, accept my submission.

“Use me, as I have used you. To fulfill your deepest desires. To satiate whatever craving lies buried beyond your limits. To satisfy the beast you keep hidden so extraordinarily well that most don’t even recognize he’s there.”

His eyes are unreadable, his expression giving no insight into his thoughts. Only after staring at her for far too long does he sit on the bed and pull her up into his lap.

Wrapping himself around her and burying his face in her hair, he sighs. “Let go. Submit to my love, wife. I need you like I need air. But I could never do this to you without you asking me for it explicitly. I will play the part, at your direction, but I will not… cannot… bend you to my will. Let go of the picture of who you want me to be and accept me for who I am. Submit to my love, not to my will.”

His refusal hangs in the air. But she clings to him and he to her. The heat he’d burned into her cheeks is fading, and her heart races against his as she absorbs the desperation of his grip.

She tries to pull away, but he doesn’t let her. And as she replays his words in her mind, over and over, she does let go.

She allows those five blows to clean the slate. To wipe away all of her expectations. To create a new plan and path.

One which she will forge and guide them on… quietly… by a leash around her throat. 

She will submit. To his love.

And to his ever-present desire for her to lead.

She takes his hand, pushing it across her body then up to wrap his fingers around her neck.

“I’ll let go… if you don’t.”


Enchanted Forest by Alphie0216 via DeviantArt.com

Your arms, your grasp,
Your breath at my ear,
Your beard on my neck,
Your lips and tongue sear.

My mind, my heart,
My tears wet my pillow,
My body defies me,
My breath becomes shallow.

Your fingers, your rhythm,
Your touch is so knowing
Your desire interupts me,
Your love just keeps growing.

My mouth, my core,
My lust is so sinful,
My thoughts disappearing,
My hope wonderful.

Your eyes, your soul,
Your whispered delight,
Your true love making,
Your satisfaction, so right.

My arms, my grasp,
My forced restitution,
My will bent to you,
My only solution.

Your final, your forever,
Your only wish granted,
Your rediscovered love,
Your life, enchanted.

My magic, my fate,
My truth to be slanted,
My growth to be known,
My life, enchanted.

Our dreams, or infinity,
Our world replanted,
Our sweet, simple everything,
Our life. Enchanted.


His eyes, like the mirrored reflection of a shallow pond, but with a depth that is beguiling…

His lips, so soft and sweet, I could kiss them over and over for hours… days… forever…

His beard, speckled with silver, silky to the touch, but deliciously scratchy on my neck, breast, belly, …the super soft spot behind my knee…

His fingers, oh dear God, his fingers, long and slender, strong and teasing, stroking, squeezing, pinching, kneading, swirling, twirling, invading…

His manhood, the way it curves, the way it fills, the way it looks in his hands, the way it feels in mine, the way we fit, perfectly…

His strength, as a man, as a lover, as a father, brother, son, friend and absolutely, as a husband, never weak or absent, always available, for anything…

His brain, so intelligent, filled with knowledge of depths I’ll never penetrate, makes our son smarter, me richer, the world better, every day…

His wit, childlike, at times, easy and fun, and most appreciated during moments when my heart and mind are heavy, because his are never too heavy to laugh…

His hopes, …wrapped up within me, I take them everywhere, so we could never be apart, not with this beautiful part of him locked inside me…

His love, sweet, gentle, kind, open, honest, innocent, whole, not difficult, not contingent, not replaceable… mine.

His everything…
my everything…
I am his…
he is mine…



When the hurt is overwhelming, I sink inside my mind.

In that moment, the mixture, the symphony is respite.

The soft of one, hard of the other.
The chivalry of one, demands of the other.
The gentle words of one, the harsh curses of the other.
The sweet hopes of one, the dark fantasies of the other.

It’ll never be, my dark knight in white armor. It’s just a dream.

To accept the limitations,
To enjoy the experimentations,
To tolerate the lack of ministrations,
To be at peace with adaptations.

My neediness resigned. My fantasy remains hidden. My world in reality?

Is the love enough to curse the hurt away?
Is his heart strong, can it keep mine in play?
Can the needs of our family keep my needs at bay?
Can MY heart handle this constant sway?

These chains that keep me, bind me, to a life I should hold dear, are they deformed?

The reality is simple, the fantasy complex,
The reality neglects, the fantasy expects,
The reality agrees, the fantasy objects,
The reality is limited, the fantasy reflects.

In this moment, the mixture, the symphony, is respite.

But then the hurt returns.

And I do it again.

I torture myself.

For neither has an end.