it burns
fierce and brilliant
scorching every surface
inside and out
engulfed completely
for eternity
or just a day
until it finally dims
falling
down
to a fine silken dust
with magic daring enough
to stand against
a storm
raging winds, torrential rain
the wicked clap of
fate’s thunder
shaking it into thin
hills and valleys
tributaries of God’s anger
opening in the cracks
filling with the dark rain
of days gone
but when the clouds part
something stirs from within
a thing born without
fear or pain
simply awakening
a fluttering that presses ashes
into wings
glowing like ropes of sunshine
lighting up
the dark
coaxing itself loose
free
to open it’s wings
in fluid breaths
sending death
to the wind
with a flurry of hopes
dreams
and
wonder
gone
but not without leaving
scars
behind
It has arrived! I am officially a published author of a short story.
A year ago, when I wrote this, I couldn’t have imagined how it would feel to see my words in print.
Now it’s here! Infernal Ink is a wonderful magazine filled with lovely, dark, creepy stuff. Hydra and Dave have made a great issue. I have been up reading since it arrived very early this morning. I hope you’ll check it out.
Screams of Eternity is the second piece, amidst some really wicked and dark stuff.
It’s a story of abduction, torture and revenge. Let me know what you think, if you get the opportunity to read it.
To those of you who have followed along, always reading, “liking”, and commenting, thank you for making me believe in my own talent.
And, to all of you who have been my support through the past year and longer, especially my kinky crew, my biggest fan and the young damsel who inspired this piece, I love you! Thank you for standing next to me, keeping me up, even as I fell.
The air is the same
The sky hasn’t changed
The ground beneath my feet
Is just as solid
But everything is different
A tiny babe has grown
Into a gorgeous toddler
A job that bored me to tears
Has undergone metamorphosis
A love turned to hate turned to ash
Is now abandoned indifference
Friendships have waned and grown
My consummate struggle
The inability to be a proper friend
Family has ebbed into simplistic living
Sharing space in respectful admiration
Where conflict does not reside
Future is now my joy to imagine
With a heart fuller and brighter
Than I ever could have dreamed
Glowing with the magical light
Of a five hour sunrise
The wildness presses itself against every pore on my body. The inside, desperate to extrude itself.
To introduce itself to the world.
To be known, felt, seen.
To thrash about in the foreign openness.
Learning to breath.
Learning to walk.
Learning to live.
Tired of being taken out and stuffed back in over and over. The wild, in seeking freedom, is taking over.
It manipulates my very sight and breath, taste and hearing, letting me feel the world anew in every waking hour.
How have I lived for so long without ever truly quenching my thirst, sating my hunger, hearing the ever present truth, or touching…
Really touching?
Being touched?
Feeling what it is to be touched?
Obsessed with the attention, never paid properly, I’m impatient for the sensation of being the object of desire.
The wildness knows.
And as it threatens complete devastation in order to be free,
I no longer fear the uncertainty of that freedom. But I clutch at what I know, overwhelmed with the chaos of emotion roiling within me.
I cling to the present, ignoring the numbness of the past, and hiding from the knowledge that the wild within me is installing directly into my spirit.
I hide from him, because it’s habit.
I hide from them, because it’s natural.
I hide from you, because. . .
The wild awoke beneath your stare, the beast became within this creation I built for you, the inside turned outside purely because of your presence.
And as I cling to the covers, hiding from the dark and begging the light to return, like the scared little girl I’ve always been, I simply do not know how to stop.
Everything’s Possible by karfozy via DeviantArt.com
The battle wages within.
She is a champion, driven and dependable. The heart of an empath. The blood of a warrior. The mind of a scholar. The smile of an angel.
But inside, she is a failure. A fraud. A broken down actress who fakes it because she doesn’t know any other way.
She is everything. Yet… She is nothing.
Do you see her there? Pushing herself in every attempt to attain perfection. Striving constantly to one up herself.
Do you understand what it takes to persist without persistence, to subsist without sustenance?
She is everything. No. She is nothing.
He sees her. Watching her struggles and successes. He is proud of her, regardless of her endeavor or its outcome.
But she is blind to his adoration and deaf to his respect. She can only feel her own isolation. She cannot be taught.
She is everything. But, she is nothing.
Until… He makes her see. He makes her feel. He makes her learn.
The world shrinks and life seems manageable. The darkness doesn’t seem so black and the lightness isn’t so blindingly bright.
She learns of respect, worth and hope. She finds peace in the corners she once ignored. And finally, basking in the warmth of self actualization… She is the sunset and the sunrise.
It’s time for a wish by Bucikah via DeviantArt.com
If I could pool all of my magic
to grant one wish
one single wish
If I could wield the power of my words
to give one blessing
one single blessing
If I could mobilize the friendship you’ve granted me
to create one gift
one single gift
I would find a way to give to you
Something
which might repay
Your support, your mentorship, your wit, your charm, your gentleness, your wisdom, your hopes, your guidance, your humility, your honesty, your balance, your fervor, your spirituality, your insecurity, your strength, and your talent…
But all I can give to you
Is my promise.
A single, but powerful promise.
I swear to always be your friend.
From that day, many, many months ago, when you called me Missy (with no intent on using my childhood nickname) at a time when she needed to be seen, known, and comforted.
From that cold, Sunday afternoon when you chatted with me, giving me insight into myself, my needs, my insecurities, that I had blatantly ignored… A slap in the face that I needed, so desperately.
From those mornings where the tables were turned, and it was you who needed an ear or a thought.
From all of those moments that you supported me, during the times when I had no one else to turn to.
From a day, not so long ago, that I wasn’t brave enough to ask for your help… but knew that you would have given it, if I had.
To all of the tiny moments in between…
Where sometimes, just your words gave me solace.
And to many, many moments to come…
My Birthday Wish
for you, Sir, is
forever friendship.
I hope today and everyday after is filled with bliss or tempered with comfort. Happy Birthday, Sir!
And hey: Glitter your front, next time!! 😉 You know, for Cinn… *giggles*
MelDouleur.com 