You are magical…

He sees me.
Broken, in this moment.
Lost in the spiral.
Of my illogical thoughts.

I hold my tongue…
I contain my criticism…
I maintain my submission.

He sees me.
Wraps his arms around me.
Resets me HIS way.
Not mine.

I grin my dimpled smile…
I release my held anxiety…
I exhale my sweet magic…

He sees me.
My concern always for him.
Trust coaxing him.
To decide, for me.

I show my respect…
I voice my appreciation…
I become my submission.

He sees me.
And he tells me.
The thing I never thought
He noticed.

You are magical…

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17 thoughts on “You are magical…

    1. Oh Angel… I’m working so hard to only control myself, but somehow, it does make not controlling the situation easier!! And, you were right, in trusting him, he really tries to step up! I just had to get out of the way. Fingers and toes crossed that I can keep this up!!! (And get better at it… eye rolls are SO hard to force yourself to quit! lol!)

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      1. Doing the happy dance over here for you!!!!!!!!!! I am so glad to hear it! It is a slow process but the rewards are infinite. I still find myself wanting to revert sometimes and snap off a pithy remark or pull away in defiance but I’m getting better at tempering those impulses. Ad honestly, that’s not the behavior I would want for my sons to accept in a wife so I needed to clean my act up anyway. Holding your babygirl hand, friend.

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      2. Thank you! It’s silly, but feeling some littles in my corner makes it easier. I think he’s loving this side of me, but… I’m not very confident about what kind of dynamic we might end up with. You know?

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      3. The hardest thing to let go of sometimes is the destination. We are goal oriented girls and we like to have 27 plans for how we will get somewhere. However, on this journey, they are driving, they don’t ask directions, and we get there when they say we do. All sorts of growing of our willingness to submit opportunities in the ride. I kinda have a love/hate with that.

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      4. You see, that’s exactly the part I didn’t get all this time. It’s so obvious, now, that it was never going to be pressure or even encouragement from me to get him on the ride with me. We can’t control them men we wish to control us. But we can build them up, acknowledge their strengths, appreciate all that they ARE and THAT will beef them up to what we want them to be. It is still leading, kind of, but in a much, much subtler way. When their lives have pulled them down off their thrones, we do sort of have to lead them back to power. I don’t know, that’s my working theory at the moment.

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      5. I agree, Mel. Life pulls them down and we unwittingly have contributed to that emasculation. I, for one, want to be his cheerleader. Looking cute on the sidelines and screaming encouragement as he runs for the win. Sure, I could do it too, but I love to see him getting there. And I like to be his eye candy. Giggle.

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    2. Mel, I agree. The big world has beaten our men down and we have unwittingly participated in that emasculation. I want to be the cute cheerleader on the sidelines screaming for him as he makes the run for the game win. Sure, I could do that same athletic act and probably be awesome at it. But there’s something about watching him do it that just makes me so happy for him. Seeing is face when something goes according to HIS plan is priceless. Hearing him talk about his dreams finally is melty. I want to be that girl. I want to be the one he feels like he needs to coddle and care for. He can’t do that if I am in control. Ugly reality check. I am my own worst enemy.

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      1. Aww… I hope he reads this!!! We just have to remind ourselves constantly to control ourselves and NOT the situation. Right?! Stay mindful and allow him to be in charge. When he asks for our help, be there to cheer him on, but DO NOT take over! Right?!

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      2. It is a CONSTANT battle to be mindful and not control-ful. Lol. I am SOOO capable but he knows that and values it. I don’t need to prove it 17,902 times a day to him by undermining him. That creates this place where he doubts that I believe that HE can be capable. That was not ever the message I really wanted to send. It became my default and the more I did it, the more I believed it. It was destructive to him and to us. Then I wondered why he didn’t step up? Duh!!! Clean slate here. He is great and I tell him so. He makes great decisions, and I appreciate every single one. Even if it is only one. I am no better than he is at this; I’m just different. My mantra is DO NOT TAKE OVER. Giggle. It helps to be a babygirl. He naturally wants to take care of her. It solves a lot of my problems.

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