As I step against the brick wall that you crafted so artfully to hold me away from the blistering heat and acid that churns inside your soul, I feel the warmth of it and can’t help but want to be inside of it.
I long to be in there with you. I could help you douse the fires. I could be the base to neutralize that rage. I could be the light amidst your darkness.
But you are a sophisticated mason, and this wall you put up is sturdy and strong. Like you. Like everything you do.
So I’m left in the cold, to wonder about what you are feeling, thinking, hoping…
Are your emotions as shallow as they appear? Or is there depth behind that wall?
Perhaps you believe I am too delicate to endure the real you, locked tightly inside your fortress.
Perhaps you believe I am too delicate to enjoy the ministrations of your deepest longings.
Perhaps you believe I am too delicate to understand the intricate network of your mind.
Perhaps you even believe I am too delicate to appreciate your simplicity, if that is in fact what you hide so capably.
But, sweet Sir, I am not delicate.
I am Strong. Stronger than you could ever imagine. Stronger, even, than you and this wall you built to protect me.
I will rip it down with my bare hands, I will prove that I am worthy of the knowledge hidden behind it.
I will make you hear me, through this brickwork, or destroy my voice in the process.
I will force you to see that my love for you transcends everything physical.
I will be your NEW wall, and protect YOU from all that you fear and avoid.
I am not too delicate. But once we are both behind that wall…
I could pretend to be!
I could let you protect me…
I could help you build a new, beautiful fortress. Our delicate new world.
Oh please let me in. Help me pull apart these bricks. Allow me to show you, before I destroy myself trying.
I am too delicate to endure my own love.