Runaway

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She longs to disappear, to the ocean, to the coast. Let salty air cleanse her weary heart. Feel the fine sand soothe her broken soul. Allow the tepid water to wipe her troubled mind. Send her spirit into the white capped waves, to escape.

She dreams of being free, nothing to tether her to this world or the next. Nothing making demands of her, no responsibilities to consider, no expectations to manage, no one to hurt her…

But no one to love.

Runaway… Run back home. Be loved. Be present. Be real.

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Interrupted

.:Bliss:. by sasonian37 via DeviantArt.com
.:Bliss:. by sasonian37 via DeviantArt.com

Within my circle,
my bubble,
my world,

Many colors,
feelings,
thoughts,

A thousand wishes,
hopes,
dreams,

A billion fears,
worries,
hates,

A few joys,
precious,
sweet,

One bliss.
Single.
Fixed.

The circle is broken.
The bubble is popped.
My world is interrupted.

By bliss.

Recognition

don__t_miss_you_at_all_by_antek_pyra
don’t miss you at all by Antek Pyra via DeviantArt.com

“It hurts…”
“What hurts, dear one?”
“Longing.”
“That’s not pain, that’s desire.”
“Waiting.”
“That’s not pain either, impatient girl.”
“Not helping…”
“Ah, yes. Your personal brand of pain. Your love is so strong.”
“It really hurts.”
“Stop doing that to yourself.”
“Why are you here again?”
“Because, you’re reading.”
“I’m learning, not quitting…”
“Yes, you are learning. You are also seeing.”
“You want me to stop?”
“Not at all… I still want you to surrender.”
“To Him?”
“Your love makes it about him.”
“I still don’t know how.”
“Read what you wrote, all those years ago. You gave yourself the keys.”
“It WAS prescient?!”
I told you that you were magical.
“But, I’m not strong enough.”
“You are. You know you are. But you are still afraid.”
“I’m afraid that I’m changing too much, that I can’t be what he needs.”
“You aren’t changing. You are recognizing.”
“Recognition hurts?”
“You make it hurt. You want it to hurt.”
“Because I know hurt…”
“Hurting yourself is the wrong kind of pain.”
“I know… I’d like to quit that.”
“Yes! Because you are strong. You recognize the difference between that hurt, and the pain you truly desire.”
“I want more than personal strength, though. I want to be valuable.”
“Valuable to whom?”
“Someone who sees me for who I am.”
You are, sweet girl. I recognize you.
“You want me to surrender, completely… I don’t know how.”
“Then keep reading. Keep seeing. Keep learning. Keep growing.”
“And if it hurts?”
“Show it to him. He will help you.”
“Why should he?”
“Because it’s his job.”
“Is it? I’m not sure…”
“Shouldn’t he decide that? Shouldn’t that be his to control?”
“Oh… That is surrendering…”
“Completely.”

I am

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Beauty in the Blank by confused-equine via DeviantArt.com

I am bleak?
I fight against that with everything in my being!

Because bleak may as well be blank, and I am not blank!
I am far, far from blank.

I am Bright.
I am Sweet.
I am Magical.
I am Messy.
I am Sparkly.
I am Precious.
I am Beautiful.

Like a rainbow. Or a sunset. Or the stars over the ocean. Or fireflies against the complete blackness of night.

You would say I am all of those things.
You don’t think I’m bleak or blank.
You make me see that I am extraordinary.

Maybe I was bleak. Maybe I was blank.

But you gave me the markers.
To make myself pretty.
To color my amazing world.
To write my own description.
To draw my love and fantasy.

I am not bleak. That is wrong.

I am not blank. That is silly.

I know without a doubt…

Because…
I am
Yours.

I am.

Forever

His eyes, like the mirrored reflection of a shallow pond, but with a depth that is beguiling…

His lips, so soft and sweet, I could kiss them over and over for hours… days… forever…

His beard, speckled with silver, silky to the touch, but deliciously scratchy on my neck, breast, belly, …the super soft spot behind my knee…

His fingers, oh dear God, his fingers, long and slender, strong and teasing, stroking, squeezing, pinching, kneading, swirling, twirling, invading…

His manhood, the way it curves, the way it fills, the way it looks in his hands, the way it feels in mine, the way we fit, perfectly…

His strength, as a man, as a lover, as a father, brother, son, friend and absolutely, as a husband, never weak or absent, always available, for anything…

His brain, so intelligent, filled with knowledge of depths I’ll never penetrate, makes our son smarter, me richer, the world better, every day…

His wit, childlike, at times, easy and fun, and most appreciated during moments when my heart and mind are heavy, because his are never too heavy to laugh…

His hopes, …wrapped up within me, I take them everywhere, so we could never be apart, not with this beautiful part of him locked inside me…

His love, sweet, gentle, kind, open, honest, innocent, whole, not difficult, not contingent, not replaceable… mine.

His everything…
my everything…
I am his…
he is mine…
forever.

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