lost mother

you won’t
know the cold
until it grips you
from the inside
the freeze dried
madness of loss
here we all are
children of the
forgotten
and
remembered
but always blindsided
by mortality
if God is with us
where is his comfort?
how does his plan
for tiny babies
without mommies
make any rational
sense?
why does faith leave
in these moments
when we need it
most?
I pray, just the same
give my tears to
the wind
and beg for them to
bless the wings
of a new angel
but my heart breaks
and bleeds
for the lives she’s left
behind

can she protect them
from her new home
in God’s kingdom?

pressure

Woman reflected on water by Peter Heeling

the weight of want
closing on all sides
pinning me beneath
the very wishes
I make in the dark
drifting upon a sea of
tears spent in vain
before sleep finally silences
the ever present
cascade of demands
a beautiful life
joyful in its breadth
but burdened
by the limits of
time-space-money-love
more pressure
simple in its requirements
but complicated
in its rewards
if I fight against
it’s grip
swimming into
the dark, lonely waters
of ambition
I could drown before
reaching those golden
shores beyond
or
if I turn away
I might learn to enjoy
the strength of the
raft beneath my feet
and his embrace, the
warm comfort of life
handmade
by us

shouldn’t that
be enough

after all

float

Hot air balloon by Peter Heeling

adrift over the sea of life
aimless but consistent
in my effervescent rise
and ever present fall
the world never quite looks
as pretty up close
so I float
in the clouds where
my thoughts can’t hurt
anyone
and where the sun
works to burn
away my doubts
warming my skin and soul
so that I might
tolerate
the plummet
back
to earth

 

captive

‘Glass globe’ by Rudy van der Veen

if only
I could pick this lock
open these
glass walls
so that you might
feel smell taste hear
what has held me
inside
for so long
I know you see me
but your eyes are only
one tool
I locked myself in
so you cannot
use the rest
if you did
but you still didn’t
understand
I might as well stay
caged forever
because
my truth cannot be found in
pictures
it is beneath your fingertips
on the tip of your tongue
the sweet, fervent whisper
of my breath
what you see behind
this glass
is changed
by your own reflection
I know it
by the shine of your eyes
but I don’t know how
to free myself
I only know
that you like it
when I
smile

light of day

Sunbeams by evescesann
Sunbeams by evescesann via DeviantArt.com

little sunbeams
burning through the
steel blue veil
cast over my sky
tiny rays grow brighter
and hotter
merging into
my own sun stream
warming my skin
and my heart
let me soak you in
just a little longer
before I must step away
into the cold brick
obligations
of my day
let me heal beneath
your warmth
building my own
private
bubble
with strong hugs
and baby kisses
to shield me
and light me
throughout the
day

sleep

Day 230 of 365 Project by GrotesqueDarling13
Day 230 of 365 Project by GrotesqueDarling13 via DeviantArt.com

swollen heavy sleep
silence broken only
by the soft burr of
your breath
the darkness no longer
angry
but softened
by the safe firm
circle
of your will
no monsters disturb
my slumber
no anxious sleeplessness
infects my eyes
I simply close them
now
to find dreams
which play like films
across the clean
calm blankets
of my mind
whispering giddy tales
beneath fairy lights
song notes dancing
across my skin
your hands cup
around everything
to keep the storms from
blowing through
to protect and
warm
to hold me
secure
you’ve got me
and I awaken having
truly slept
my cheeks burning
with life
my body surging
to begin a new day
not furtively
but willfully
still somehow held
safe and peaceful
in your grasp
even as your fingers
fall away
I feel them
throughout the day
shielding me
inflaming me
gifting me with
the bubble
I’d never knew
I always wanted

Yours to free

My soul is on fire by Julie-de-Waroquier
My soul is on fire by Julie-de-Waroquier via DeviantArt.com

fingers bringing life
to my skin
tangled hair
coercing a response
where words have
no grip
free my soul
from its cage
locked down by
obligation and duty
hold it tightly
in the dark as
it fills with
light
and
purpose
these flat letters
cannot compete
with your touch
but let me try
so that you
might feel the fire
in my love
aching to burn
through us as
you take
what is
yours
hear my breath
holding my secrets
make me give them to you
without tears
without words
steal them as you’ve
stolen my heart
in countless
kisses and strokes
that bind me to
this reality but
set my soul ablaze
there is no shame
in my flames
only in extinguishing them
tell me again
over and over
until you have
no voice to do so
I am yours
yours for eternity
only set me free
so that I might
fly
to do
your bidding

Alight

Golden Ray by ElenaLight
Golden Ray by ElenaLight via DeviantArt.com

An idea sparking on
Through the hazy
Wavering fog of
Doubt, guilt, darkness
The light, so warm
It consumes me
I am fuel for something
Greater, better
A chemical burning
Phosphorescent
Within the safety
Of his grip
My wicked lust
Fanned by his breath
As he protects the
Flame
With both hands
It is irony
The most simple form
Of God’s humor
That I should be
Held delicately within
His security
Feeling a pleasure
Incomparable
To the dark
Wilderness
I’d stolen away to
Before
He rescued me
But now, watched
Carefully
And protected by
Our bubble
I am free to burn
As his will closes
Around me
Tightly
Healing me
Right down
To my
Scars

Believe

Shimmer by aFeinPhoto-com
Shimmer by aFeinPhoto-com via DeviantArt.com

Every circular moment

Dependant on the next

Without scientific reason

Only love’s will

As simple as

Gravitational pull

A moon circling planet

Responsible

For my tidal rhythms

Even as I know

Low tide must come

I bathe in the high

Dance in your light

Until we must

Complete the circle

Another morning

But I believe, Mister

You are still right there

At my back

You’ve got me

Always

Let me shine

With your affection

Until my shimmering waves

Crash upon you

Again

Tonight

lucky

night crosses out the day
gifting me the warm
safety of you
tighter, please
hold fast
do not be detoured
by my softness
your firm grip
molding my mind
more than my flesh
that strength cancels out
the noise inside
demons rise
in the dark
but possess no magic
to fight against
your command
within this embrace
I bid them
goodnight
as I dissolve, liquid and dust
against you
within the whisper
of your breath
free to be
the luckiest
girl
alive.