The air, sweet and thick with the breath of angels, clings to my clothes, making them sticky and heavy against my skin. My sun hides beneath a thick blanket, lacking the energy to burn through so that he might shine down upon me, cheer me, and will me to be better. And my moon remains missing, keeping watch over someone else, somewhere else, someplace far from me.
When the summer rain finally falls, each warm yet refreshing drop washes away a bitter memory. It cleans me and grounds me, folding over and around me like a security blanket. It whispers to me, about my purpose and my plans. It settles into me and strengthens me, cell by cell, until I am whole. Until I am wholly different. Until I am completely changed.
I hear the song of the future, and it rings through me like a lightning bolt. There is no past or present, there is only what could be, what can be, what will be.
Brought back to life from the brink of yesterday’s death, I look beyond today’s, and see a flood of tomorrows. Each bright, shining possibility glimmers with promise and hope, and sings to me that the rain will not last forever, so I must remember. I must maintain the magic of this moment, even when the magic dissipates, and the bleak, sunless sky frowns in darkness.
My sun will return and he will light up my skin as he has tomorrow after tomorrow before.
I will close my eyes to my moon, and sleep through his ever present disappearance, until he is forgotten.
The puddles of the sweet, burning knowledge that have coated me and cleansed me of my misery, will evaporate. But this moment will never be gone.
And as I stand here, beneath this summer rain, smiling at each drop and splash, I recognize that I never needed it in the first place. Because all of that knowledge and magic came from within my heart. Bottled up to be protected, but there is no protection suitable for faith. There is no umbrella large enough, no raincoat strong enough, to hold in and hold down the hurricane of love which erupts from within me.
I’ve turned it on myself.
Watch me soak beneath my own summer rain.