Bent

the glassy liquid
between her and I
ripples
with every stone
I throw
desperate to get her
attention
longing to swim to her
but afraid
of the depth
she floats upon
this pebble falls
straight through
the darkness
landing again in my
open hand
time and time
again
until it doesn’t
her eyes rise
to meet me
she is awake
and fear grips me
even harder than before
what will become
of me
when she swims
to the shore
will I be cast out
set afloat upon waters
only she could navigate
or will she take my hand
the liquid between us
not meant to divide
but to wrap around
and unite
she is
my reflection
and she tells me it is time
I must go ashore
for I am not broken
but bent
it is time
to be the bender

Give me peace

A dedication to a lost member of this community. May you rest in peace, Ed.

Death by Kawaielli via DeviantArt.com
Death by Kawaielli via DeviantArt.com

Silence the questions, mute the insults.
Give me peace, I need some results.

Stop this rollercoaster, let me get off.
Give me peace, please do not scoff.

Forgive my weakness, my heart’s neediness,
Give me peace, end this loneliness.

Open the future, so I might see.
Give me peace, so it might be.

Silence my desperation, give me a breath.

Give me peace, give me hope, or please…

Give me death.

Life is very hard. For some people, who do not believe in themselves, who find that they are simply too overwhelming for the world, who cannot find value in themselves without being valuable to others, it is very easy to believe they are not worthy of living. That the world would simply be better off without them.

Depression is a terrible thing. Hating yourself is an impossible thing. And once that thought enters your mind, that those you love would simply be better off without you, that is the worst thing, ever.

As we all reel from the horrible circumstances of losing a fellow blogger, I wanted to put this out there, because many people don’t understand suicidal thoughts. Most people don’t understand how much a person can hurt, specifically that kind of hurt. When the pain is so overwhelming and you literally feel like living is worse than dying… Well, I believe that is exactly what Ekidon was feeling Thursday.

Those with faith, please pray for this lost soul. Yes, it is selfish. Yes, in taking his life, he dumped a load of guilt on a lot of shoulders. And, yes, he could and should have sought help. But please, pray for him anyway. Undoubtedly, now, on the other side of eternity, he can see that this decision was wrong.

Then also pray for those who loved him. Because they deserve peace as well.

And if YOU ever feel this kind of pain… don’t let the thoughts spiral.

Reach out. Ask for help. Demand it. Seek out those who can be by your side to pull you out of that spiral when you cannot stop it.

The love of those around you can be a very healing thing, you simply have to allow yourself to tune into it. ❤