Tag: femininity

Flower in my pocket

I slipped it in there to hide it from sticky fingers and perplexed glances. It was a greedy gesture, sure. But it’s not for them. 

It’s mine. 

It pokes through the fabric lining a few times, digging into the skin of my thigh. But it isn’t painful.

It’s a thrill. 

An injection of femininity. A sharp reminder of the girl I leave behind so often. A symbol of the self I long to set free. 

I reach into my pocket to feel it’s faceted petals and silvered leaves. I hold it in my hand, letting the buzz of touching something so fine, so sweet rush through to the deepest darkest places that need it so desperately. 

She stands about twenty feet away, a gorgeous girl, fingering a strand of beads and wearing a self satisfied grin. The kind I would wear, if I’d only chosen a dress, if I’d only worn the kitten heels, if is only slipped that flower in my hair. 

It’s me. 

As I glide it from my pocket, watching the light catch the pastel ovals to make glittery lights sprinkle across my skin, I stop thinking. 

I let it find its way into my hair, and the buzz turns into a high. Wings of sparkling daisies glinting in the sun of my imagination, lifting me and my mood, brightening the world all around. 

“Oh, how pretty!”

It’s only a barette. 

But sometimes, the little things are so much more. 

Secret

 

the dress by butterfly-cool via DeviantArt

Everything feels more intense. My skin responds to every breeze, every brush of an insect wing or blade of grass, every flutter of my dress.

I am more than alive, I am life. The often overwhelming disagreement inside my head silenced.

The simple act of slipping on a dress which means so little to most is an act of exuberance to her. Like unlocking handcuffs that have been worn for a lifetime.

In that dress, she is freedom and flight, grace and mercy, beauty in a form that is so bright, it is almost blinding.

A simple dress settles the distress of forty years held captive in ill-fitting trousers meant to subdue and yet inflate. There is supposed to be power inside those two legged garments.

But in this dress, I feel more powerful than ever before. She is being true to herself. Finally. Permanently.

 

I am her. She is me. We both have a secret.

 

It lies within that dress.

 

 

Image courtesy butterfly-cool via DeviantArt.com