Safe Harbor

I need a place
Firm floors and soft edges
A structure of steel
Draped in pillows and blankets
Warmed by the sun
Shimmering in the dark
With the promise
The one promise
That no one
Has ever made.

I need a place
A safe harbor

Where I can fall apart
No one else’s needs to meet
No demands
Of time or wit or ability
No decisions to make
No bedtimes, screen-times, mealtimes
No downtime
Never any requirements
Of my mind
Of my eyes
Of my voice
Only my flesh

I need a place
A safe harbor

My blanket fort
Your sofa
A mattress
Or futon
Or backseat
It isn’t the location
It’s the mindset
It’s your attitude
It’s a command
Bend over, feel, break, cry…
Come, baby girl, again

I need a place
A safe harbor

Where I can beg to be
Broken
Ruined
Freed
Until all that is left
Is the calm eye of the hurricane
The center of the
Storm
That is my life
All that is left
Is me

I need a place
A safe harbor

Where pain isn’t frightening
But comforting
Where the tangled
Unruly web
Of this world
Looks like silly string
Dirt is just fairy dust
Piles of laundry are pillows, or even clouds
The disarray is simply magic

I need a place
A safe harbor
Where the sobs
That escape my chest
Aren’t fruitless cries to an empty shower
Never meaningless
But instead
They are music
A sonnet leading to a symphony
Of laughter and bliss
A concert
For one

I need a place
I need to fall apart
I need to be taken apart
I need that impossible promise

Daddy

I need
Your
Safe harbor.

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simple.

simple.
but with complexity
that is so strong.

not the fragility
of every other moment
shared amongst
so many
who never cared
to understand
MY complexity.

who never thought
beyond what my
magic
could offer them.

who never attempted
to help me
find MY purpose.

simple.

gloriously
intoxicatingly
bewilderingly
simple.

because
the little things
completely
outnumber
the big things.

Last Star

image

It perches, high, in the bleak winter sky,
Mocking the sunrise, twinkling for my eyes.

It reminds me to enjoy being alone.

Moments when I need peace.
Solitude. Reflection. Or quick release.

It also reminds me of the sparks of love.

The minutes of my good day kiss.
Child adoration. A new friend missed.

Today, it felt like a whole new thing.

A sign of what’s to come.
My future. Glittering above.

A new star. The last star. My star.