Make me yours, the way only you can. I dare you, I beg you.
Make me feel your fire. Set me ablaze and sit back to watch me squirm.
Make me plead for mercy. Tease me until you can no longer resist.
Make me hope for the end and continuation, simultaneously.
Make me fear that you may never tire of the torture that I beg you for.
Make me yours.
Completely.
Make me obey.
Make me submit.
Make me surrender.
Make me.
MelDouleur.com 
Are you fit for obedience? Will you obey?
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Honestly, I’d love the opportunity to find out….
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Perhaps the level of obedience you desire doesn’t exist, or cannot be done by mortal man, or perhaps is already happening without your noticing? Maybe, maybe not. How much submission are you capable of? How far along are you on your trip there?
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I’m not sure how much submission I am capable of. I have a tendency to be sassy and… selfish *frown*, as much as I don’t want to be. But I very often want what I want and don’t settle easily without it. (You have actually shown me this through our conversations, DC.) Usually, though, I just go get it myself instead of waiting for someone to give it to me. I have been independent most of my life.
The odd part of wanting to be submissive is wanting to be controlled. I really want to know what it feels like to be told no. I really need to understand what it’s like to have to do something because it’s what he wants. I am submissive in the fact that I want to please him, always. But “how much submission am I capable of?” Could I comply with every task, assignment, order, etc.? I doubt my husband could push the limits of what I’m capable of performing. But I’d love it if he decided to try.
I’ve been on the trip for a year, but sucking miserably at it until recently, because submission in the absence of dominance is hard. And I expected him to do all the changing, when it was really me who had an awful lot of adjustment to make. To my attitude and expectations.
The level of obedience I desire does exist. But perhaps it’s not possible within the relationship I currently inhabit. I obey, when I am given the chance. But I’m also the second in command on a ship who’s captain isn’t confident in his ability to lead. I make a lot of decisions because he can’t or won’t.
I accept that as a form of submission, for now. Submission, after all, is about submitting to his needs and desires… not mine.
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Reblogged this on Little Anna B (Diamond Eyes).
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A beautiful invitation.
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@MEL
Hey there. Yes, I have noticed your ‘sassyiness’ on here *slight frown* but it is no where near as bad as the average genXer so it doesn’t matter. I notice you mentioned “independence,” that is a killer for a lot of women. It is hard to submit after a lifetime of that.
Why do you think your husband won’t push the limits? Is he just finding it tiring? Does he think it is kind of dumb?
“because submission in the absence of dominance is hard.”
Hmm, so you have ‘supply’ but little ‘demand?’
The level of obedience I desire does exist. But perhaps it’s not possible within the relationship I currently inhabit.”
This is very troubling, this bit about “currently.” That world implies lack of permanence. Do not detonate your marriage.
“I obey, when I am given the chance. But I’m also the second in command on a ship who’s captain isn’t confident in his ability to lead. I make a lot of decisions because he can’t or won’t.”
For most men, the responsibility seems too great a burden to bear. Your attitude is great, but it heaps a lot on him. For some it may feel as though they have a sort of ‘extra child’ if you will. Try to be patient.
Am I perhaps misreading you?
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First, I’m not sure why I used the word ‘currently’. Perhaps more due to the fact that my marriage is changing. I love my husband. He is an amazing man, and loves me very much. With that, my growing family, and the fact that I built this life that I’m now uncomfortable in… ‘detonating’ my marriage has zero appeal.
Why won’t he push our limits? …I wish I had a reason I could understand. I wish I felt capable of asking him very bluntly. I wish I could even have a conversion that might answer that question. But communication is still very difficult for us. From conversations we have had, I know he is happy and wonders why he should make changes when he’s content. He sees our relationship as teamwork. He enjoys the partnership. He has no interest in having power over me… though, in certain areas that I have been able to submit without his command, I think he likes it. Mainly, I think we are two super insecure people who have some inherent incompatibilities. He’s a prude. I’m wild and kinky. He’s stable and calm. I’m crazy. The places we excel, our differences compliment each other. The places we struggle… well, you get the picture.
I think he finds labels dumb. I think he is annoyed with the idea that I want to make our marriage look like anyone else’s. …yes, perhaps he does find me tiring. Though, because I hide and lack the ability to show him much, I think his inability to push stems from that.
“A great burden to bear.” Yes. I am overwhelming. One more reason to hide. One more excuse to stuff it all down and just figure how to live in the world I created without the shit that would actually make me feel cherished, valuable and important.
After a wedding, late last night in a hotel room, feeling exhausted and completely spent, I had to figure out how to deal with my six year old amidst a two hour belly ache. After back rubs, lullabies, attempted belly rubs, several drinks (I’m sure it was dehydration) and a hot bath, he finally settled down to sleep. When I crawled into bed, Hubby wrapped his arms around me, kissed my hair (he never does that) and told me what a great mom I am. What a great woman I am. And how much he appreciates me.
I’d give up everything for more of that. Maybe I seek his control because I feel like that will show me what I’m doing wrong, since I dint feel cherished, valuable or important. Maybe I want him to “make me” because it will prove that he val enough to put forth that effort. I don’t know.
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@MEL
Perhaps by “currently” you meant the stage your ‘permanent’ relationship is currently in.
Why are so quick to feel worthless? Do you think his effort will be worthwhile? How long will it take you to submit? If you push him to push your limits, you’ll have to resist somewhat in order to make him dominate you; how long will that take? Do you want to get slapped? Have you considered any of these things Mel?
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Why am I so quick to feel worthless… you ask the best questions, DC.
I don’t have a great answer to that one, though. Because I’ve always felt worthless. From five years old when my grandmother made me feel different and weird (compared to the way she treated my sisters), to being bullied when I was older (for pretty much the same reason), to using my sexuality as a means of getting some sort of affection from the opposite sex, to being married to a man who just might be too good for me… It doesn’t make sense. I know I’m not worthless. I know that plenty of people in the world value my existence. But, it’s hard for me to see why.
I submit now, in every way I can. If he makes demands of me, I nearly jump to fulfill them. Even when he just makes requests… I’m so hungry to please him, I actually cannot imagine him having to “make me”.
But yes, I’ve thought about how it would feel to resist and have him exert his Dominance over me. Yes, I want to get slapped… in a way. I’m a masochist, so I think the ways he would need to exert his Dominance would have to be more creative. Submission is hard, but it is magical and rewarding. I want to submit, and feel his Dominance in any way he would choose to deliver it.
But the idea of disappointing him is not desirable. So I don’t really think there would be much discipline. Just structure. Rules to follow. Tasks to complete. Ideals to live up to. I think I’ve considered every aspect of D/s. I’m not sure he’d ever reach any of my limits, because I crave this so desperately, I’d succumb to any requirement.
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@MEL
I can only applaud your bottomless devotion and subservience. Truly, it is remarkable.
I don’t know that your husband won’t find you masochism becoming however. He seems to be more conventional than you. He may find the idea that the mother of his children being a masochist disgusting. Possibly.
Also, the more women get of what they want, the more their endless ‘desire’ nature will demand. If he made you submit, you could simply move the goalpost and demand more dominance. People have other things to do in the day besides worry about their wives internal issues (work, bills, exercise, food, sleep, children, friends, ‘chilling out,’ etc.)
Would their be some limit to how much time would be spent on satisfying your inner drama? Can your inner drama be satisfied?
Sorry to hear of your suboptimal treatment as small child, and the bullying later on. Do you think the bullying had to do with looks?
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I think the bullying had to do with my reaction to it. Children who are easy to pick on get picked on. It’s part of life. I was sensitive to begin with, then a woman who should’ve loved me and showed me kindness said and did things to make me feel inferior, and unattractive. I’ve forgiven her, as much as one can. But I’ve not yet learned to squelch the insecurity.
I was/am a pretty girl. I struggled with weight after puberty (still do), but I was always a pretty girl. I was just an easy target. Very often people who don’t feel good about themselves pick on the flaws of others in order to make themselves feel better. Had I ignored them, had I picked back, had I done any of the things my parents, teachers, and others suggested, they probably would’ve stopped. But I was weak, and I cried, every time. It was far too easy to believe the yucky stuff they said about me. Still is.
I think there’s a lot of misinterpretation with that word masochism. But, he was spanking and swatting me (sexually) long before I came out and admitted I was a masochist. I don’t know that he’s disgusted by it, intimidated perhaps. He’s not a sadist, he doesn’t enjoy dishing out pain, but he gets plenty turned on by turning me on. And often, pain turns me on.
The bedroom is likely the only place I’m going to experience further growth in his Dominance. I think I might actually be accepting that. Your points about my possible greediness are heard and processed. After some conversation last night, I actually feel like I have a clearer picture of what he can and cannot accommodate. The partnership is really important to him, he does NOT want to tell me what to do, how to act, who to be, etc. He likes my independance. He’s willing to take care of me, just in the subtle ways he already does.
The internal drama is not likely to go away. But you make it sound as though I expect him to “deal with me” before any other priorities in his life, and that’s just not the case. I’ve pointed out plenty here that my issues are my issues, and I struggle with laying them out there at all, much less while he’s busy with all the other crap in his life.
Do I want to be priority #1? Of course! Who wouldn’t want to be the center of their spouses universe?! But the center of a relationship is the place between two people. One person can never be the center. Lately, that space seems empty. I’d just like that space to be smaller or for us to both to take up some of that space.
There are no goalposts. It’s not a game. There’s no finish line, either. It’s marriage. And marriage is like a job. You work on it, every day, striving to find ways to make the job easier and more enjoyable. The harder you work, the more you are rewarded. If you push too hard for more rewards, you lose your job/marriage. If you give up and stop working, you lose your job/marriage. Your job/marriage cannot interfere with your basic life needs, if it does, you should probably give it up.
I just don’t want to feel like I’m making all the concessions. If I’m doing all the work and he’s doing none, that doesn’t seem fair. If he’s reaping all the rewards, while I’m sacrificing my own, that doesn’t seem fair. Does it?
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By the way MEL, my response to your last comment went to the top for some reason, sorry for the confusion.
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Wow the struggle within and the desires at play. Of wanting to give so much and also want it to see it being taken.
It is never easy when one of the two requires stimulation.
To my opinion it is one of the things that never is talked about within a D/s relation.
We know a submissive want her limits pushed but never is there a discussion about the Dominants limits.
In the end it is something two people build in there own haven. He does slap you he does get turned on by your moans and asking to be rougher and hit you harder.
I am saying this but do not know in detail your or his story. The talking that you do is a good start and why would he not go further in what he is already doing. the slapping part.
As you mentioned masochist is a big word. We each find our own limits, we each find our own ways together with a partner. Even in a Harem there can be slight differences between subs because of limits.
Who knows could you lure him to go beyond his limit by simply asking. Dare him, even challenge him. (being sassy and bratty maybe even)
It is a hunger that lasts forever.
To have one so submissive as you would be a blessing, But do get some pezazz going for fun. 😉
Good luck and I hope he will make you His.
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Thank you, Sir. I am his, either way. I do believe I can push his limits in the bedroom. I already have. I think subs actually do this pretty often… I think women in general do this pretty often. The art of seduction is, after all, kind of like topping from the bottom.
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You are welcome. And please Ranting or Crow will do 🙂
True as it may be some subs do not get away with it. and it depends on the rules set which is different for all. Well maybe I am a bit sadistic wanting a bratty woman 😀
Go create a world you both can live in and BOTH are happy.
In always comes back to give and take. Both ways.
I do wish you well on this journey may the limits be endless.
Not that one has to answer but does he feel the same as you. And is he missing some Dominance in his world. (not uncommon a man to wants to be topped on times)
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I truly cannot understand his desire for my Dominance in every day life. He loves control and order, but he does not desire to lead. He likes that I lead, I think. I don’t know, Crow. We are working through it all. That is all one in my position can do. I married a man who values my independence but does not like to be challenged. As much of a conundrum as I am, it seems he has his own conflicts as well. I am learning to enhance the Dominance he does possess, feed it and liberate it, as best I can. He is learning to enjoy my submissiveness in the areas that are comfortable for him. It is a journey. That is for sure.
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Wow, he likes control and such but only in the bedroom. Almost feels as if he sees it as sex and not so much a lifestyle.
Keeping bedroom and life separated if you will. A misunderstanding what can be done outside the bedroom.
But that is based solely on what is said. here.
You know very well it is a journey for the two of you so please enjoy it And may you find your ways. It is a beautiful fulfilling world out there
Keep On smiling. It suits you best
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There is no lifestyle for him, Crow. He has not accepted my submission our agreed to be my Dominant. He can be dominant in bed, and sometimes in life. So I’m trying to amplify that through submission. Lots of people tell me it won’t work… that if he doesn’t want it (it is a lit of work), my submission is meaningless. But I see a few ladies who were in the same boat as me and it has worked for them, to some degree. I’m not greatly optimistic at the moment… but I love him, am pregnant with his second child, and feel the need to somehow make my marriage work.
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I seen ladies who tried. And I admire your hard work submission and giving it your all. In the end by giving all he can do is take. Sound very blunt but that is how it works. And with a tease here and there forcing him to take with more force. Pull him out of the shell and show him what it does to you if he does take control.
Never tried is always leading to not working. I understand where you are trying to do. Knowing you do what you can to make it work. it is working by the way just missing that one tender feeling you desire.
I do not think it is ever meaningless. Specially to you. As it is what you enjoy doing. Love doing. Because it is who you are and want to to be. That is never meaningless. But I know your feelings are missing something.
You have chosen a path and sticking to it. And that alone is admirable in itself lady. May you one day find your desires answered.
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